Not-so-mean girls Movies skim over the benefits kids gain from being a part of a social circle. By Matthew M. F. Miller CTW Features In the 1970s it was"Carrie"and"American Graffiti."In the 1980s it was any film starring Molly Ringwald and in the 1990s it was"Clueless,""American Pie" and "Mallrats."Today, it's "Mean Girls,""Superbad" and "Napoleon Dynamite." Movies have long portrayed the harsh extremes of awkwardness and torment teens face when navigating social circles in junior high and high school.Cliques, especially those pertaining to young women,often are shown to be elite social circles that lead to demeaning and dangerous pranks, self-loathing and backstabbing. Movies, however, are not real life when it comes to teenage behavior, says Dr. Natalie Adams. "There are actually many positives to being in social groups during the teen years," says Adams, an associate professor of educational leadership, policy and technology studies, University of Alabama, Tuscaloosa."Social groups provide a sense of community and support.This is where many people find their life-long friends. These groups also teach basic social skills such as negotiation, compromise, teamwork and communication." Adams believes social groups are the positive, often overlooked norm whereas cliques represent the bad we commonly see in films. In social groups members are free to spend time with kids considered not in the group without fear of being cast out of the group.Even when trouble arises in friend groups, as long as the kids are happy and thriving overall, parents should remain hands-off,Adams says. "There's a fine line between being a helicopter parent who hovers over their child and makes every decision for them and being an involved parent who allows their children to make mistakes and recognize that those are places and opportunities to grow,"she says."It's not the end of the world if your child is not invited to a sleepover or if somebody says something ugly to your child.These are, in fact, opportunities for your child to grow in character.Let your child fight his or her own battles." Unless,of course, some of those behaviors start reminding you of scenes from the aforementioned films in which case Adams recommends taking immediate action. "If the situation crosses over into the realm of harmful behavior — your child is being bullied or hazed — then, as a parent, it is your responsibility to get involved," Adams says. © CTW Features